A talented translator, Fullbright scholar, and humorous colleague, our new Syrian friend and translator sat before us sharing his story. It was a Tuesday morning in 1979 as he, as a three year old boy, rode next to his father in their Volkswagen through the streets on Damascus headed to kindergarten. A normal morning in every way until they stopped at a red light, when two men armed with machine guns fired 69 bullets at the car, 12 of which hit his father and one hit him. His father recovered with minor injury though three bullets are still lodged in his body. However our dear friend's body was forever changed by that one bullet, which caused spinal injury. He has been wheel-chaired bound since age three.
At that time the Muslim Brotherhood was involved in a movement attacking intellectuals, professionals, military and government officials in Syria. Our friend's father was not in fact an official; he worked as a translator as his son does now. The family can only assume that the wrong car was targeted in the attacked. They do not know what has happened to the men.
Growing up, his father kept saying that they must forgive the people who did this and not wish ill on them or their children. Our friend has never held hatred toward the people who attacked him, he does not suffer nightmares or dreams of them. There is an Arabic saying that says, "a charcoal hurts where it is". Every September the family celebrates the day of the attack with a cake. They celebrate the fact that they are still alive and live on. My friend said there have been times he has heard his story on the radio and yet the names and dates are different, the story of his attack is not unique. Yet his story does not end with his physical repercussions, but it is the emotional affects that are so beautiful and noteworthy to share.
He says that "forgiveness was the only way to break the cycle of violence. "If I wish them harm then I would be like them. On a practical level, whatever happens to them I will not get back what I lost. It is not easy to be a person with disabilities; it is not easy to lose what I have lost. I really have put them out of my mind. Instead of hating them, and being the one who is really suffering not them, I have turned it into a positive energy that is helping me cope with this. In Syria we have not yet at a national level dealt with the 1980s events, but I believe at some point we will have to get to the truth and reconciliation concept – part of the healing process will require us to forgive. This mechanism of public forgiveness, having a sense of closure by talking about it will relieve a lot of people and its sad a lot of people don't know that. I believe people should be given the chance to heal themselves and to heal at the community level and social contract level by going through the process of talking about it, recording it in history and also understanding the power of forgiveness. "
He continues, "I am thinking about solutions for the Iranian nuclear problem and yet my wheelchair is breaking and I am unable to fix that. At the end of the day I am a victim of a violent event and I still relate to violence elsewhere in a different way. I do not want to victimize myself and abandon the victim psychology. I went to the States and got really depressed. I felt like I was the last four digits of my social security number. My country needs me more even though it is more difficult and less accessible to live in Syria with a disability. I always see myself as an ambassador, a disabled person, a phenomenon ... if I were not disabled I would still be the same person. I am now trying to develop specifications for buses to be accessible for all people (all public buses and 25% of private buses). The First Lady is a true believer in this cause." While the effects of the attack he endured at age three have forever changed his body they have also forever changed his heart and belief system. He advocates and demonstrates the concept of forgiveness and healing. He says "I believe in the concept of closure, they need to bury their dead psychologically and engage in exchanged apology."
His words rang in our ears even after he stopped talking. The story of his experience and the way he and his family chose to reflect and heal is a true testament to the power of choice and the power of forgiveness in breaking cycles of violence. His heart could have turned so differently after having been attacked and wheel-chair bound because of the hatred and violence committed against him as a child. Yet his choice to allow reconciliation to be the course of his life offers hope and direction to his country and to all who hear his story.
"Hatred stirreth up strife, but love covereth all sins." To act in love is to forgive, even though we may never forget.
ReplyDeleteThis post is very powerful and I enjoyed reading it. This is a story with a rippling effect, where those who read it are impacted, by learning about a man who focused on positivity in the midst of negativity.